I am pleased.

i am pleased.



why am i pleased? i will tell you. keep in mind, this may not seem like a very big deal. but to me it is.



for the first time ever, or at least in a very long time, he showed what appeared to be legitimate concern about someone other than himself. he wants me to do well on my math exam tomorrow. i took him some food after i got off work, and when i walked in he asked me how work was. then he said "are you gonna go home and study for math?" and i said, "....meh probably not." and he said "but you havent studied at all!" which is not true. so i respond "i studied last night and this afternoon!" he turns to errrca, who was with me, and says "please make sure she studies." errrca says she will try. as i am leaving, he looks at me with a rather serious face and says in an entirely adorable way, "please go home and study. and call me tomorrow if you need any help before your exam."



after we left, errrca asked if he was normally so concerned with my study habits. he is not, but i have been stressing about this exam and this class. errrca even remarked that he looked mighty cute as he was imploring me to study. i noticed :).



like i said, this really doesnt seem like a big deal. and perhaps im just reading way more into it than i should. but honestly, i find myself wondering sometimes if he really only keeps me around because i am convenient and do alotta ridiculous shit for him. he is the type of person who rarely shows concern for anyone other than himself, and he thinks mostly about what will benifit him most. its just how he is. but maybe, just maybe, i register vaguely on the list of things he cares about. and that pleases me.