Yeah, we'll sail through the sleazy seas, past all the casting couches, rug-burned knees

[Livin' Th' Dream-You, Me, and Everyone We Know]

so i have been downloading some delicious new music lately. and i got some really good stuff. i got some hawthorne heights, a song by iron & wine, a really good song by anberlin, a very lovely song called "technicolor eyes" by the backseat goodbye, and i found a fantastic new band. they are called You, Me, and Everyone We Know. their music is really quite wonderful. im listening to it now, in fact. they have a sort of PATD feel that i like. and i think you should all go give them a listen. ferreals yo.

This is not a test or an SOS. I'm no longer on a quest

[Cannibal Queen-Miniture Tigers]

i had a terrible night at work last night. im not sure why. its not as though anything happened to start it being bad. but i was in such a terrible mood. i think it started when i got home from class. i laid down on the couch and started watching scrubs. i wanted to take a nap so bad. but i had to get up and go to work. so i was a little tired. then people were just annoying. and i got stuck on dish for like and hour and a half. which was ok cuz it kept me away from people. but then i had to go to service, and people were being really really needy and annoying. and i just kept getting angrier and angrier cuz i didnt want to be up there dealing with rude, annoying people. we were very busy, and there were so many things that needed to be done at once. on top of that, the annoying girl i work with kept poking me in the side, even though i ask her time and time again not to touch me. last week i hit her with a spatula to emphasize my point, yet she still continues to poke at me. i dont like it. so that added to my grumpiness. and then my friend at work told me that after this semester, he would not be working there anymore. so after next week i will probably never see him again. that makes me very very sad. i will miss him. and on top of all that, i waited all night for a certain someone to at least thank me for taking his shift over the weekend. but he never did. i did him a favor. and it shouldnt even be such a big deal, but all i wanted was for him to recognize that i took his shift because he asked me, just because it was him who needed a favor. and i just wanted him to appreciate me. thats all i wanted. to feel like he appreciated me. so i waited, but he never mentioned it. so i was getting mad at him for that, and getting mad at myslef cuz i was making such a big deal about it. and then, i had to lay on the floor to dig napkins out from behind the ice machine cuz i am the second tallest person, shorter only than him, and would i make him lay on the dirty nasty floor? absolutely not. so i got on the floor and got all dirty, and cut my arm in the process. so all of these things came together to make me one big angry jerk the entire night. yay T.T

There's something wrong with this picture. Let's turn it upside down so we can see

[Technicolor Eyes-Backseat Goodbye]

i worked tonight. it was a lovely day out. grand prix was going on all day. and i had to work. i really didnt want to, but i had already agreed so i had to. it wasnt a bad night at work. we just hung out. and we got out at a decent time, even though there was only 3 of us.



i kinda thought he would talk to me today, but he didnt. :(



my mom is coming to visit tomorrow... well later today technically. she is gonna help me pack and clean my apartment for check out. im gonna take her for a peanut butter burger. it will be fun. i need to do dishes and clean a little before she gets here. oh well.



my first year of grand prix greatness is over. and it was not that great.



i think its about time for bed. goodnight.

Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho, won't trust a ho, cause the ho won't trust me.

[Don't Trust Me-3OH!3]

work was interesting tonight. i agreed to take his shift on saturday. he wants to go to grand prix and his brother is coming into town blah blah blah. the point is he needed a favor and i cant say no to him. so i volunteered to take his shift. just like that. do i really wanna spend my saturday night working? noooo. but its ok i guess. i owe him, since tomorrow im gonna ask him to come move furniture for me lol.



i also learned how to make pizza tonight. well sicillians anyways. he taught me. i made 2 pizzas. they looked delightful. really they did.



oh, and i got propositioned at work O.o some guy came up, and i believe he had been been heavily participating in thirsty thursday. he made some comments about whores, and the back room, and me, and i was just like "....?!" and then he asked me if i would sell him alcohol T.T and within 30 seconds, it had spread around the entire store and everyone was making whore jokes at me (lovingly of course). and everybody thought it was hilarioussssss.



like i said, interesting night.

:D

happy again. very happy. good night at work last night. he was very nice to me. we joked around alot. and then, when i got home, he talked to me on facebook. ok, it was only a random question about work, but its still something. and that something, no matter how small and miniscule of a something that it is, makes me happy. <3

Where were you when everything was falling apart?

[You Found Me-The Fray]

This secret breaks my heart a little. And I think we can all relate sometimes.

Defenses start to break, it's more than you can take

[Break Anotha-Blake Lewis]

so my physics exam pretty much kicked my butt tonight. fail. but at least exams are over now, and i have 2 weeks to chillax til finals. i get my math exam grade back tomorrow. wee. also, work tomorrow yay <3>

<3333

i am pretty much the happiest person in the world tonight. he texted me right out of the blue tonight. and we talked. not about anything big, but about home, and work, and life, and college, and such. the point is, he texted me and we talked. and i am still happy. and i feel a little retarded cuz i am acting like this. but it doesnt matter. im happy. so happy. very, very happy. such a good night :D

That's not the way I want my story to end

[Sober-Pink]

there are moments when i am very very happy. like i think i have a chance. then, i realize that this stupid idea in my head is false. i am not special, as much as i would like to be. and then i get sad. and my heart starts to hurt. and it sucks sometimes. did i ask to be this way? no. will it always be this way? probably, though i hope not. only four more weeks. that means 8 more nights. and this makes me incredibly incredibly sad. i am being ambiguous right now. i know. but i dont feel like trying to express the utter stupidness of it all. huff.