Netflix. is. the. best.

netflix was both the best and the worst idea of my life.

the best because: i always have something to watch

the worst because: im always watching something

and netflix is so helpful. it makes suggestions for your viewing pleasure... it even makes my decisions for me. hot damn.

i barely left the couch for three days when it suggested the show Californication (brilliant show, by the way.)

now im hooked on dexter. its bad ass.

So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell? blue skies from pain? can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

[Wish You Were Here-Pink Floyd]

i think life operates on the same principle as a roller coaster. no, not that cliched "it has its up and downs" line, though its true i guess. but thats not exactly what im talking about.

the first hill on a roller coaster is the highest itll ever go. the other peaks are tall too, and thrilling all the same, but the first one is the tallest, the best. the momentum gained from the first hill is what carries the coaster over the rest of the track. as it travels, friction and drag and resistance plague the coaster, stealing the kinetic energy established to carry it onward.

you spend all your childhood years building up to it. children are really elastic, they bounce back quickly after a setback. they recover quickly because they have no reason not to. sometime early on you hit your peak of maximum everything. maximum happiness, maximum luck, maximum my-life-is-fucking-awsomeness. but once its over, its over. you can look forward to the next hill, but as they say, its all downhill from here. as you get older, it gets harder to recover from all the shit life throws at you. life drags you down, and eventually you dont get back up the way you did before.

Though bells will ring church steeples were catchin fire. If you promise spring, then I’ll know you are a liar

[Souverian-Andrew Bird]

I dont think we realize how tenuous our present state in life is.

we spend years planning, scheming, acting in order to achieve a certain status. and once we get there, we think its solid and secure. but its not. in a single second everything can be turned upside down.

I'm in the far lane, I'm running this shit, hundred yard gain. Uhh, swag on infinity

[I'm Not a Human Being-Lil Wayne]

i hung out with the new brothers at the house. i am teaching the young ones to respect and adore me. i mean, i do have to continue my traditional game of "which brother at the house creeped on me this time?" so they must experience my girlish charm firsthand :p i kid. i rarely enjoy this game, but they tend to creep against my wishes and errrca and i joke about it all the time.

anyways. i really enjoyed them. they were quite entertaining because they reminded me alot of me when i was a freshman. slightly socially awkward. still full of hopes and dreams. college hasnt crushed their spirits yet. they have just partied away freshman year while maintaining decent grades. nolan thinks he is gonna be a chemical engineer, and gruber is gonna be a mechanical engineer. they think they are just gonna walk in and own shit. they have no idea.

I'll be gone for a while, I'm on cloud nine. I said goodbye..

[Cloud 9-B.oB.]

the semester is almost over.

freedom. is. so. close.

Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of

i am terrified of spiders.

this picture specifically is of a wolf spider.

my father owns a large house out in the middle of the woods. in the winter, all the bugs come inside. when i was younger and stayed at his house, i had to put my shoes on every night to walk to the bathroom to kill the wolf spiders on my way. it was terrifying.