Dear Valued Customers,
I realize that you believe that your grocery list is of the utmost importance in the whole scheme of things. I mean, how could the world possibly keep spinning if you did not rush in and finish your grocery shopping at midnight... God forbid you should have to wait til the next day! But let me let you in on a little secret: I do not care about your late night cravings. I do not care if you ran out of milk, or if you need one last ingredient for your recipe, or if your grandkids want you to buy them snacks. I dont care. The grocery store is open between the hours of 6am and 12 midnight. That does not mean that you can shop indefinately, until every last item is checked off your list. That means you have until 12 oclock at night to finish your business and get the hell out.
Furthermore, I make friendly announcements reminding you that the store is closing. I go so far as to give you 15, 10, and 5 minute warnings. Believe you me, I dont make these announcements just because I like to play on the loudspeaker. No, these announcements are gentle hints that you need to grab your groceries and scram. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE THEM. Pick up your last fucking items and get your ass out of the store. I dont want to be there a minute longer than I have to be.
Sincerely,
Your friendly closing cashier.
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