[Champagne Supernove-oasis]
its an interesting feeling when someone you love stabs you in the back. its a terrible feeling, but interesting nonetheless. it hurts, because this is someone you loved and trusted. it hurts because you dont feel like you would ever hurt them in the same fashion. i think it makes you feel alone; if you dont have the people who are supposed to be closest to you, who do you have? it seems easier to withdraw from people, because its harder to trust or care about people, because they could ultimately hurt you too. but at the same time, its an entirely important life experience that everyone has to go through. it reinforces that people will ultimately let you down. it teaches you not to trust as fully as you could. but at the same time, it lets you see the people who actually care about you. it makes you value the few people in your life that you do trust explicitly, because they are so rare.
its an interesting feeling getting over it too. it would be so easy to get angry, to yell, to accuse, to be just as terrible. but after awhile, you just have to let it go, and accept it for what it is. its not worth all the anger and pain holding onto it can cause. its just one more life lesson that you have to acknowledge and move on from.
tyler confirmed what i knew all along. shes fucking the one person that was off limits. i was incredibly upset about it, but i realized neither of them are really worth it. i dont think i can trust her at all anymore, but there is nothing i can do about it except appreciate the people i can trust and move on. im not upset by them. i feel so much lighter.
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