I want to swim away but don't know how. Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean.

[Into the Ocean-Blue October]

its dead week. i have a final in 6 days. a really important final. and i have not started studying.

i have basically given up.

im failing 3 classes right now. this is hard for me. i dont want to sound arrogant, but im me. i dont fail things. it just doesnt happen that way. thats just the way things have always been so this is hitting me really hard. i think about my grades and i feel so depressed. im so behind in everything that i dont know how to recover, or even if i can. i dont know if a good grade on my final will fix it. it all feels so hopeless and futile. i have no motivation to study, or do anything because i feel like such a failure. im going to fail, and then im going to lose all of my scholarship money and i cant afford this place and im going to have to drop out of college because i dont know how i can pay for it here. my GPA will be fucked. i just dont know what to do.

i keep telling myself i will start to study and i will get on top of stuff and magically learn 16 weeks of organic chem in 6 days. i know this is untrue.

all i really want to do is just run away from all this shit cuz i dont know how to handle it.