Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear, and I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer

[Drive-Incubus]

yesterday i was complaining to errrca that i was still worried about my living situation for the summer. she told me i was being stupid, that had talked to him twice and that it would be ok. i however, for some reason need constant reassurance from him and i was still worried. today, he texted me and told me he had cleaned my room for me. this made me happy for two reasons. 1) this was more of the constant reassurance i needed. 2) i just got out of cleaning. win. he also asked me for more money. originally i had agreed to pay him 200. he only asked me for 100 at the end of school so i had hoped he had forgotten about the other 100. he now wants another 150-200 for rent he says. he told me if i couldnt pay it he would have his mom send him money. that seemed like a bitch move to me, so im just gonna use the money my dad legally has to send me for my living expenses. it bums me out that i have to use the money for its intended purpose, instead of like alcohol or something, but ill get over it. errrca did point out that i could not live anywhere else so close to campus for so cheap so i suppose i shouldnt complain. i have a sneaking suspicion that he is gonna hit his mom up for money anyways, and just get paid double, but i have no evidence other than i just naturally dont trust him on such things. however, i have apparently misjudged him thus far.