And maybe somday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak

[Same Mistake-James Blunt]

so there is a boy. and no, this is not some post dedicated to my newest crush. to be honest, i have never met this guy. and no, this is not some random creeper i met on the internet or anything. he is a friend of a friend. Michelle (ill call her that too, refer to allies Inspiration! post) has been telling me all about this guy, Paul. and Paul claims to be in love with Michelle. they met through a mutual friend, and he fell for her. problem is, she was already (and still is) in a serious relationship with another guy. so Paul has a classic case of epically bad timing. so anyways, she has been telling me about him and how sweet he is. and i jokingly said she should let me have him cuz she clearly doesnt need him. so she gave him my number and he suprised me one night by texting me. and we talk sometimes. and he intrigues me. he seems like a nice guy. a nice guy with terrible self esteem. he seems to base his entire self-worth on the fact that Michelle doesnt return the affection. and he makes me sad. very very sad. kinda because i can see a little of myself in him. he breaks my heart a little every time we talk. he says the most sadly beautiful things. the other night i was talking to him on the phone, and i was going all Dr. Phil on him, and he said "i want to tell you something right now." and i said "ok go ahead." and he said "but i dont know how to say it." and i said, "well just try." and he said "promise you wont judge me." and i said "of course i wont judge you." and there was a very long silence. and he said "nevermind, i cant." and i said "its ok, you can tell me." and another long silence. and he blurted out "im so high right now. i do this all the time. i dont know why. and im afraid to tell Michelle." and i was shocked. i was shocked partly by this admission, but also because he trusted me with this secret that he wouldnt even tell the girl he cared about. he trusted me not to judge him. and i didnt really know what to say to him. a few minutes after we hung up, he texted me. and he said "you hate me now dont you?" and that broke my heart most of all. how could he think that just cuz of that admission i would hate him? no way. and i told him that. i dont hate him. its not my place to judge him and his past times. i really appreciate more that he trusts me enough to tell me things (or lets the drugs speak for him) and that he cares what i think about him. i hope that i can continue to talk to him. and maybe i can meet him one day.