[I'm Me-Lil' Wayne]
i always prided myself on being ok. i always said "ill be ok. im always ok." and i always made sure i was. no matter what happened, i made it ok. i think that was the worst part of all this. i no longer felt ok. i let everyone else make me feel not ok. and once i lost my ok-ness, things felt out of control. im tired of letting other people control how i feel. i want to feel ok again. Also, i have a message to every person who brought me down:
To my boss: Fuck you. you are paying me 8 (and sometimes 12) dollars an hour to stand around and despise you and do minimal work. every single time you sign my paycheck, you are kissing my ass. you are nothing more than a middle-aged college dropout who has nothing to look forward to but managing a little hole-in-the-wall pizza place on a college campus for the next twenty years while all of your employees go on to be better than you. im getting my degree, bitch. you are just a stepping stone to better things.
To my roommate: Fuck you. you have no right to judge me, because although you like to pretend you are, you are no angel. you are little more than a lonely person who hides behind her good grades and resume builders. without all of your awards and accolades, you have nothing. no friends, no fun, no life experience. you cling to me because without me, you have nobody besides your equally as judgemental boyfriend. i have friends, i do things, i experience things, and you are jealous so you judge me. you have no right.
To my roommates equally as judgemental boyfriend: Fuck you. you also have no right to judge me. you tell me that you worry about me and my life, well stop kidding yourself. your life is no more together than mine. you have alienated yourself from former friends and any potential friends for a girl who doesnt even love you anymore. you gave up your identity to please her, and now you are nothing more than an extension of your lonely girlfriend. when she finally decides to leave you, you wont have anyone or anything because you judged everyone away. at least i stand on my own two feet and create my own path, whether it be right or wrong.
To the boy who broke up with me: Fuck you. I am who I am, and if you cant appreciate me for that, then i dont need you. I am a positively lovely human being, indecisiveness and all. You made me happy, but you are not the only thing in life that did. I will still be happy without you. I will find someone who loves my silly hair and my semi-indecisiveness. I allowed you to make me feel bad about myself, but i wont any longer, because i know ultimately you are missing out.
To everyone else who judged me or tried to bring me down: Fuck you, too. I'm tired of being judged for what I do. I'm me.
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